Family Matters

We’ve been foster parents for about a year now and I have always felt like I need to keep shoulders up and hold the family together. Being a great partner to my wife, an anchor for our oldest foster kid who has a dealt with a lot of trauma, AND having twin toddlers isn’t a job for the weary. For whatever reason, I believed we needed to carry this entire burden because “we chose to do this.”

I’ll be the first to admit it…I do not like reaching out for help. From my best understanding, I’m not alone here! No matter how we justify it, the pride of “doing it myself” or the struggle of “not wanting to be anyone else’s burden”, we are just not about having other people lift us up…especially when we are dealing with loneliness.

However after several talks with my amazing wife, we realized God called us to be in these kids’ lives, AND we needed to EMBRACE the community around us in order to fulfill God’s call in our lives to love these kiddos well. We sheepishly asked a few of our friends to get certified for respite care (think background checks and fingerprinting); without hesitation anyone we asked said YES. How foolish we were to think no one wanted to help us and in return not only did our jobs as foster parents get easier, our kiddos got even more people in their lives who love God and them as much as we do!

Often our heart is unsettled and we feel as though we can’t or shouldn’t begin to reach out for connection, but that is how God created us. Being connected with His people is one of our best ways to experience the wholeness of His Love. God’s Word calls us to pursue the things that make peace and build each other up. We can trust Him and take Him at His Word!

When we or our kids are experiencing loneliness, one of the best ways to “pursue what makes for peace” is to make that first, really hard leap and reach out for connection. What might that look like?

1. Reaching out to trusted believers. Maybe it is a parent, pastor, a best friend. Someone who has shown you a desire for God’s truth in your life and shown you His love through their own actions and words.
2. Getting professional help. There shouldn’t be a stigma about Christians (or anyone) reaching out to someone who is outside of your current situation to talk to. Even now in a season of social distancing, there are trusted and Biblically sound Christian counselors who want to be a part of building you up.
3. Model these first two steps for your kids. Our kids experience loneliness as well. Let’s talk about it with them to validate what they’re feeling and share times we have been lonely as well.  It’s important to share how we’ve handled it in ways that work well and ways we’ve chosen to handle it that are not helpful.

Let’s be strong and courageous to reach out to others and let our humanness show.  We can all be lonely at some point in time. Who can you reach out to today?

Camper Corner:

Did you know everyone is lonely at some point in life?  Even your favorite You Tubers and Influencers!  Take the initiative to invite someone to hang out or run an errand with you. It will help you and it might help someone else who is lonely too!