How to Instill Confidence in Kids


If only our kids had as much confidence in themselves as we have in them! Ashley lets us know how we can instill confidence…Christ-centered confidence in our kids.

For the Lord will be your confidence… Proverbs 3:26

It was 65 to 4 with maybe a minute left in a basketball game my freshman year of high school and my team was, you guessed it, down by 61 points. I can remember standing on the court with tears in my eyes feeling obviously defeated after the game and wanting to be literally anywhere but there.

I looked over and saw both my parents sitting in the bleachers cheering for me. Truth be told I thought they were insane, but I am forever grateful for parents who haven’t quit on me. There are good and bad seasons, in sports and life, but as a family we get to cheer each other on in all of it.

  • Make your kid’s priority your priority. It is crazy how far this can go in the eyes of a child. If you can reschedule the meeting at work to make the dance recital, do it. If you can have family game night instead of checking stuff off the to do list, do it. Life is busy and there will always be something to do, but if your child feels important, like they matter to you, this is HUGE.
  • Remind your kids why we get to be confident. Kids need to be told they are doing a good job, to be affirmed and encouraged in what they do well. Ultimately, though, we all need to be reminded our identity does not come from how well we do or don’t perform, it rests in Jesus and who He made us to be. Prov 3:26 tells us, “For the Lord will be your confidence…” and Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “Be strong and Courageous…For the Lord your God is with you…” Our confidence comes from knowing Jesus. Win or lose, we matter because we are His.
  • Show them the cheering doesn’t stop. When life is easy and times are good, we feel great and yet we don’t always feel stretched. When times are hard and life is a fight, it’s not comfortable but this is where growth happens. This is when we can trust God and His faithfulness to work everything for our good.  In these moments in the life of your kids, encourage them to push through the struggle. Cheer them on when it’s not easy. When they’re losing the game, or failing the class, or fighting with a friend. They need to see you with them in the trenches and know that your love and support is not conditional.

Now that my freshman year of high school is pretty far back in the rearview mirror, I can laugh at my miserable basketball career but also appreciate that much more the foundation my parents laid for me. A foundation built on support and Jesus. I knew I mattered; so we worked through fights, compromised and kept loving. It all started because my cheering section was always there. My fan club didn’t take a vacation. And my family made much about Jesus.


  1. Who can you say “You got this!” or “Good job!” to today?
  2. Thank somebody (or all of them!) who is in your cheering section!

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