Tough Questions Show Trust


As parents we are guaranteed to get questions from our kids that catch us on our heels. Shane helps us take a humble (not the easiest) approach to having difficult conversations with our kids.

“…clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…” 1 Peter 5:5

How can a parent react in situations like being asked by their daughter, “How come I’m not boy crazy like my friends?  Does this mean something’s wrong with me?”

The daughter asking the question above is likely taking a risk to broach this topic with her parents, and it implies a high level of trust.  So what can we parents do to make it easier for our children to ask us tough questions? 

To get right to it, parents will have to live in a way showing we don’t have it all together and that we need help along the way, too.  Gross!  Why can’t children just do what we say and not what we do?   Can I get an “Amen” that child rearing was not adequately explained on the packaging when our children arrived?  There should be a disclaimer of some sort at birth/adoption: “This child will require you to grow in ways you cannot possibly fathom.”   

Do your children see you reaching out for help with a sense of dependence on other people?  You may have a couple of go-to folks you call when things get tough, but do your children see you approach them with humility and healthy sense of neediness? 

People who have been harmed in relationship (which includes each and every one of us to some degree) protect ourselves.  It can cause us to become either too independent or too dependent in our relationships.  I land in the “too independent” group and tend to try to handle life on my own.  My life story has formed me such that depending on other people is just really hard, and I don’t like asking for help!  An example from the “too dependent” group might be someone who has difficulty being his/her own person, or trouble making his/her own decisions because of fear of making a mistake.

So here’s the takeaway from this column, and it’s a paradox.  Humility and vulnerability draw people, including our own children, into relationship with us.  Healthy dependence on trustworthy people is a vital part of vibrant relationships.

Our desire to model life well for our children is glorious and beautiful, and may God bless us on the journey to become more like His Son.  Grace upon grace to us all in the mysterious adventure of being a parent.

Camper Corner

The journey of life simply requires help.  We can’t do it on our own, and yet it also requires some level of independence.  We exist both as individuals and in community, and living in that tension is not easy.  Who can you trust with your hard questions? 

Related Blogs

  • How Does God’s Daily Provision Affect Our Resilience?

    Hey Camp Family! My name is Stacy Garrett and I’m a camp registrar.  Today let’s look at how focusing on God’s provision in our lives can help us be resilient people. Scripture Matthew 6:25 & 26 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your...

    Learn more
  • How can a Child be Confident in their Beliefs while Respecting People with Opposing Beliefs?

    Hey Camp Family! Lauren Stacy, Camp Travis Women’s Director, gives perspective on how to give a reason for the hope we have in Christ Jesus…even when others disagree. Scripture 1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the...

    Learn more
  • How to Help our Kids Know the “Why’s” of Faith

    Hey Camp Family! Janna Kelsey, Camp Store Manager, shares the importance of equipping our kids with the ability to explain why they believe what they believe. Scripture 1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for...

    Learn more
  • What is the Importance of Enjoying Nature?

    Hey Camp Family! Madi Tipton, Base Camp Women’s Director, reminds us of so many benefits of enjoying God’s creation out in nature. Scripture Romans 1:19-20 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived,...

    Learn more
  • How Can Parents Help Kids when it Comes to Pornography?

    Hey Camp Family! Welcome back. This week on Family Matters, we’re going to talk about how you as parents can help equip your sons and daughters to handle pornography. Scripture John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. Video Reflect Have the courage to approach the topic of...

    Learn more
  • Why is it Important for Parents to Pray WITH Kids?

    Hey Camp Family! Modeling how to connect with God through prayer is one of the absolute greatest gifts parents can give kids. Scripture Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Video Reflect Model talking with God this shows He is approachable! Pray early, pray often, pray consistently. Be worthy...

    Learn more