The Truth About Sex and Our Kids
Sex. Sexuality. Pornography…all words that are uncomfortable to read much less talk about with our kids. The need is great however. Jacob directs us through some nitty gritty in these areas.
Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who practices immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18
Whether it’s a 30 second commercial with a bikini clad model selling used tires (because that makes sense!?!), an image on a computer screen only a couple clicks away, or a brief scene in a movie, everywhere we turn we are confronted with sexuality.
Our children are growing up in a culture where research shows a child’s first exposure to pornographic material is 8 years old! Add in a good dose of hormone overload in the teen years, and we’re bound to have a ticking time bomb on our hands. Is it any wonder our children are confused about the purpose and goodness of sex and sexuality when they are receiving so many mixed messages nearly everywhere they turn?
Let’s look at some simple ways to help kids deal with the sexualized culture we live in.
- Talk about sexuality…regularly – The key is to do this more than once and start early!!! Here’s the reality… kids are learning about sex from someone or something so they might as well hear their parent’s thoughts on the matter too. In these conversations, point them to Scripture. Make clear that God has a specific design for sex…it is a good thing He has waiting for us all within the covenant relationship of marriage!
- Model behavior…with explanation – When it comes to fleeing sexual immorality, model what that looks like for your children and communicate to them why you’ve made decisions like not watching your favorite TV series any more, choosing a different movie to see, moving all computers in the house to common areas in your home, etc. Spend some time in Scripture looking at Joshua’s example of fleeing sexual immorality.
- Approach them authentically – Your kids need to know that you are human and live in the same culture they do! Let your kids know you made mistakes growing up. One of the things I wish my dad had done more of was reveal to me the ways he failed growing up. I wanted to know his faults because I wanted to be able to relate to him, not so that I’d have an excuse to do the same. When your kids fail, (and they will) don’t brush it off. Approach them with genuine love, concern, and grace. Be a listening ear and point them to Jesus. There is grace, redemption, and healing even when there is sexual sin, including pornography.
God designed sex to be enjoyed and it is a good thing! Let’s be parents who do the difficult work of giving our voice and behavior a chance to shape our children’s thinking about sex to be biblical.
Where do you hear/learn about sex most frequently? Do you think sex is a good thing or a bad thing? Why do you think God created sex?